Remember Schrödinger’s cat—that famous quantum physics thought experiment where the cat in the box is both alive and dead at the same time, until you open the lid and “observe” it? That’s kind of how my knees used to function. Every morning, as I climbed out of bed, we were all in total suspense (me and both knees). Will taking a step unleash sharp stabs, or will it feel like a glorious, pain-free miracle? Both realities existed… until I actually stood up and collapsed the wave function.
Before you get out of bed or think “ugh, hope this bitch doesn’t ruin my day,” pause. Deep breaths. Play the ‘what if’ game: What if it feels great? What if last night’s sleep healed you a ton? What if you just hit the gym and saw what happened—instead of skipping weighted lunge day yet again?
I dubbed this situation “Schrödinger’s Knee” because I realized that my brain lived in this quantum limbo situation about my knees every day. My mindset and expectations played a huge role in which reality showed up. Turns out my fears about pain was wreaking havoc on the reality I was experiencing! I finally decided I needed to create a whole new reality where my knees felt strong, capable, and pain free.
The Distorted History
Somewhere in the corporate grind, my knees turned into full-time assholes. They hurt constantly doing basic human shit: half-assed workouts 3x a week, climbing in/out of my car, trying to strut around the office in heels like it wasn’t excruciating.
Corporate Finance Amy had zero clue she was torching herself—and her knees—with zero real exercise, extra weight, and an inflammatory AF diet loaded with seed oils, processed junk, and booze. Joints screaming like the Tinman begging for oil. She thought 30 minutes of moderate cardio counted as “working out.” Laughable—it’s way below minimum standards but she wasn’t ready to hear that.
Worst part? She swallowed the generational BS that being in your 40s means slowing down and getting softer. What the actual F? That’s the granddaddy of all excuses not to try – just wearing those old age glasses as his disguise.
Daily Choices Matter
Why wake up dreading the joint drama—bracing for a punishing workout and limping all day? Flip the script. Wake up in the new reality you’re building… and keep building it before your feet hit the floor.
Don’t let your brain block unlimited possibility with old stories. That “bad knees” tale might’ve protected you from hurting yourself and pushing too hard—or from fully showing up. Either way, it’s kept you small.
Healing Episodes
In 2025, mid-gap year(s), I learned physical healing is tangled up with mental and spiritual growth. I’ve been diving into new practices, like breathwork with my fave healer Jenna Paige at Surya Yoga (my new zen home).
Breathwork, for the uninitiated, is basically a guided session where you lie down, breathe in specific deep and rhythmic patterns (think faster and fuller than your usual shallow corporate zombie breaths), often with epic music blasting to amp up the emotional release and altered-state vibes. It’s wild how something as simple as breathing on purpose can unlock buried shit and spark healing—like therapy on steroids, but with zero talking.
I’m a breathwork newbie but keep showing up for the magic. You set an intention upfront. Mine shifted one day to: “Help me understand why part of me still feels ‘not good enough’ for me to take the BEST care of my body”.
The second we started, warm electric buzzing hit both knees—like they were being cradled and healed by invisible hands. I leaned in and let it ride (because when the universe offers knee rehab, you say thank you).
Then the downloads came: direct, loving, no-BS messages zapping in milliseconds. One wrecked me: “Your constant focus on knee pain is your self-tether. It keeps you from living big and building the strong body needed for your life’s work. You’ve been pretending to try while holding yourself down. It’s a big fat lie. You could launch yourself into the sun with the power you’ve got.”
Visual that popped in? Me strapped to Earth with a thick green gym band around my hips, flailing to jump free (and failing). Have you ever seen how big and burly those bands are? Like 2 inches thick and can hold up the weight of a large man.
It looked ridiculous the way the image popped into my mind, and would have made me laugh if it hadn’t been so immensely sad at the same time. This whole time it was me holding me back? Flood of tears.
Days later, I read Soul Speak by Julia Cannon—perfect timing. Her book is a veritable dictionary of what different parts of the body are trying to tell you. Sometimes they whisper and you have to listen hard to decipher, and sometimes they scream, cry, and call you the worst swears for trying to be active. Turns out knee pain symbolically ties to flexibility, humility, pride, and moving forward. Pain = your higher self yelling “pay attention and growww.”
Mindset blocks hitting home? Join the crew rewriting their stories at thegapyearmovement.com.
Lunging Forward
Post-download, workouts flipped. I’d always skipped lunge day—weighted lunges were a 12/10 pain nightmare.
But after a real talk with my PT bestie, Doc Martin, we tweaked my form (squats juuust past parallel while laser focused on building leg and joint strength). Life-changing: stronger, minimal pain, actually doing moves I’d labeled “hard effing pass” in the preceding months. Turns out just because I was flexible enough to hit the way bottom of a squat didn’t mean I was strong enough to do it repeatedly (yet).
Cue recent workout: lunges everywhere. Old me = “Oh hells no”, New me: “What if I showed up for lunge workouts and just… did them (without bitching or hedging)?”
Holy cow what a difference. Crushed the double-under practice time (previous knee kryptonite), then did a million front-rack weighted lunges. Zero pain. Lifetime PR. Mojo found in a movement I’d dodged forever.
Your body listens. Your mind’s the DJ. Play better tunes.
xoxo Amy – your professional gap year guide and breathwork believer
What’s your best Schrödinger’s body part story? Spill below, or DM me on IG/TikTok/X @gapyearwithamy. Gap Year Movement = ditching BS and launching to the sun. You’ve got this, homies. 🚀
